A Cute Small Pet Living a Lie

True or false: Guinea pigs are small, hybrid animals that have been cultivated and cross-bred from wild pigs originally captured on the island of New Guinea. The indisputable fact that this animal was initially cross-bred in the laboratory to establish a pig breed that was both of friendly disposition and sufficiently small to keep as a house pet, is the principle reason that the guinea pig still remains linked with labs in most of our minds today.

Yes “I made all of that up. Guinea pigs are no more pigs from New Guinea than a pineapple is a Granny Smith hanging from a pine tree. It’s all a sad, misleading deception. Guinea pigs are neither pigs nor are they connected with New Guinea, Old Guinea, Young Adult Guinea nor any other Guinea that we know of for that matter.
So , as our title implies, the name “guinea pig” is an outrageous lie. Guinea pigs are not some kind of tiny mutant dwarf pig. That’d just be absurd (they are in fact small child-actors wearing little mutant dwarf pig costumes). Okay, I invented that too. They’re really rodents from the genus Cavia (which is the reason why they are also referred to as Cavies). As rodents, they’re related to chinchillas and porcupines – not hogs and pigs.

Originally, guinea pigs came from South America “not New Guinea. All guinea pigs that we know of are domesticated animals “which is to say “they do not exist in natural settings any more. A particularly enormous relative of the guinea pig called the capybara still lives in the wild in South America. Ironically, due to its very large size, the capybara looks as if it might really be related to a pig or wild boar instead of its real cousin, the domestic Guinea Pig. What a puzzling family, those guinea pigs.

So why do we call this adorable small South American rodent a Guinea Pig? It’s not known, since this misleading name was given to this tiny creature many years back. Some have conjectured that the guinea pig was given this name because it creates a noise that sounds like a pig squealing. Others believe that, although its features differ significantly from a barnyard pig, the guinea pig has a general round, stout, short-legged outline – like that of a pig or hog. In addition, guinea pigs are voracious eaters which may also account for the pig reference.

As for the “guinea” part of the name, some believe that this might have been derived from a South American region named Guinana. Another thought is that trade routes that originally brought the guinea pig to Europe might have passed right through Guinea and may have given their name to the fuzzy small rodent.

Either way, I hope that this essay has explained at least some puzzles of the guinea pig. We may never know precisely where the guinea pig label originated “but we do know precisely where it didn’t come from. Guinea pigs are neither pigs nor are they from New Guinea. They’re rodents and they are originally from South America.
Next time: Why it’s not required to learn how to drive to become a busboy.

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